Father Christmas lives in the internet

In years gone by, I was led to believe that Father Christmas lived somewhere near the North Pole.  Not surprisingly I no longer believe this to be true.  Nowadays I think he lives somewhere in my computer.  The logic behind this theory is impeccable.  Every single Christmas present you could possibly desire is now available at the touch of a button.

You don’t believe me?  Well let me just prove it – where shall we start?  Amazon used to be a fast-shrinking rain forest.  Now it seems to be the world’s largest on-line book store and on-line shopping stop – a source of every purchase known to mankind.  If you want it, Amazon can probably get it for you.

Here’s another thing, your new best friend Google can even help you make your mind up if you are stumped for an imaginative idea or two.  If you, like me. Are the type who trudges helplessly and haplessly around the high street on Christmas Eve, the internet is an absolute boon.  Need a present for him (or her)?  Simple – just search on line.

Three simple words, gifts for women often paralyse the mind.  But on line they can take you to all sorts of places not remotely linked to the fragrance section at Selfridges, or M&S undies.  Strangely though – one of the ideal gifts are socks.  Even stranger, another is elephant dung.

Things are much more promising when we search on line for gifts for men.  The testosterone levels here are magnificent with balloon trips, super cars and all sorts of manly things thrusting themselves to the front of the present agenda

If you are a technophobe like me then I doubt that USB gifts and gadgets will be high on your (or anyone else’s) christmas wish list.  Which could be a pity as the wonderfully useless USB missile launcher or USB chameleon look to be sure-fire Xmas winners for your office chums.

All of which brings me to the easiest and most fun-filled part of Christmas Shopping.  Christmas presents for kids.  Children like the same things we liked – and still like – don’t they?  Well, no apparently as the rather charming James May Toy Stories on the BBC have recently shown us.  Kids nowadays are mystified by toys requiring imagination such as Scalextric and Meccano – or even Airfix Kits.

As you might suspect with a generation addicted to computer games, the best source of inspiration for Christmas presents for kids is via your computer.  Better still it means you don’t have to join the throng at the out-of-town shopping centre, fighting for this year’s must have toy.

So there you have it.  All your Christmas presents solved with a little help from your good mate Google.  And the best part of all is that everybody will think you have put lots of thought into present-buying this year!