Are self-obsessed sportsmen really news?

Is it just me or are there rather too many vacuous sportsmen apologising for their inadequacies at the moment?  I don’t think I am the only one who sees golf as a rather pointless pastime for old men and women – but apparently I have been let down by Tiger Woods.

I didn’t realise I had been let down by Tiger Woods until I saw him apologising to me courtesy of BBC News.  And even now I am not sure that he has – though I do feel somewhat let down by the BBC for presenting a stage-managed PR stunt by a disgraced golfer as news.

Surely the only people let down by this self-obsessed man are his wife and children.  And his alleged serial infidelities are nothing to do with me or you – and everything to do with those unfortunate to be married to him or sired by him.

It’s a similar situation with the rather tiresome John Terry/Wayne Bridge affair.  Most people, if they are aware of Terry at all know him to be a weasel-faced over-rated thug who plays in a sort of adequate manner as a centre half for Chelsea (when not injured or showing people around the Chelsea training ground for a fee).  And Wayne Bridge is a so-so full back who took a pile of money to play for mercenaries city.

Now call me cynical – but as Wayne Bridge was estranged from the slapper Terry had been shagging, the media circus that has built up around this story is, shall we say just a little overstated.  Given that weeks later Bridge has decided not to play for England (although I thought that was Fabio Capello’s decision) and not shaken Terry’s hand when Chelski’s overpaid, over-rated mercenaries played Mercenaries-r-us – you begin to suspect that there is more to this story than a bit of rumpy pumpy.

But again does anyone care?   I can’t help thinking that loathsome footballers should stick to what they are not very good at – playing football.  Granted I suppose if you get paid millions for doing what most people do for fun… and get most days off with attractive slappers on tap wherever and whenever you fancy – you might be tempted to ideas of grandeur and become arrogant and self-deluded.  But isn’t that rather obvious… and is it really news?

Sporting Sportsmen

A big week for British sports this.  The Open and the Lords Ashes Test start on Thursday – and accusations of cheating are in the air.  That crusty old golfing Scot Colin Montgomerie has had his preparation well and truly interrupted.  He has been accused of cheating by another grumpy golfing Scot.  

Allegedly, a few years back he misplaced a ball.  Sounds painful – but not much of a crime surely, even if true.  Yet who can blame him for being cross, golf is one of the few, if not the only sport I can think of where honesty is de rigueur.  Meanwhile our brave cricketers cheated quite brazenly – and nobody seems to care very much.

Can you think of another honest sport apart from golf?   Many sports seem renowned for their brazen cheats. The phrase ‘it simply is not cricket’ is decades out of date – cheating is mandatory – even if the Aussies are still sore about being cheated out of a win last week

Football?  Well everybody cheats at that.  And not just the sly shirt pulling and diving seen in the Premier League.  I was encouraged to cheat in my junior league games when at Primary School.  Cheating is so endemic that holding, pushing and shoving are considered part of the game.  Spitting seems to be frowned upon – and diving is definitely dirty, foreign cheating (unless out brave British chaps do it).  But almost anything else goes.

 Rugby is much the same.  You’re supposed to be mates after the game – but anything and preferably sly and violent is accepted.  Even a bit of eye gouging apparently, if you are a psychopathic South African.

 I could go on. The Tour de France is on at the moment – it’s even on television for those that like sweaty bent double in Lycra.  But the event is so drug-fuelled that you wonder why they bother.

It’s much the same with the Olympics.  We marvel at supreme athletic ability (often in a sport we didn’t know existed).  And then act surprised when we find out that somebody so driven that they spend their entire lives running, sitting in a boat, on a bike etc. has taken advantage of some pharmaceutical assistance.  Again the cynical amongst us believe the ones who are not caught have simply got a better doping regime. 

Horse racing?  Ho Ho… even the queen’s trainer was caught out last week.  And few if any believe that jockeys try and win every race they are in.  Tennis?  Roger Federer seems saintly enough, but deliberate slow play is rife as are (allegedly) betting scams.

Yeah, OK, sports which are not sports like snooker and darts seem relatively clean.  But I can’t think of any proper sport where cheating is so frowned upon as golf.

 

The Open starts later this week at Turnberry.  That is where the almost mythical duel in the sun happened 30 years ago.  There is an image indelibly burned in my mind of Jack Nicklaus and his eventual nemesis, Tom Watson walked arm in arm up the fairway in a sort of gladiatorial embrace.  Two outstanding sportsmen at the very top of their games giving it all they had got.

Golf might be a good walk spoiled – but at least golfers know how to behave!