Bah Humbug!

Call me a greedy old scrooge, but I seem to have been planning my xmas this year since mid-November around the table and wine rack.  It must be something to do with the diet I have been loosely sticking to which makes meat and alcohol the spawn of the devil in an effort to rediscover the lean, mean fighting machine that I am in my memory and imagination.  This year Xmas is going to be a treat, rather than yet more gluttony.

And all because just a few short weeks ago I went to the doctor for a check up.  And got sent to the nurse for a check up.  Strangely I weighed a lot more than I used to.   Stranger still,  my blood pressure was high and so was my cholesterol.   Strangest of all, even though I did not want any medication and had not seen a doctor, there were two prescriptions waiting for me as I left.

This struck me as odd for a number of reasons.  The first being that being overweight and lazy might actually be causing my high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol.  So the first port of call might be a bit of dietary abstinence to see if things improve.  I had to prescribe that for myself.

 Consequently I have got my bike out of mothballs, cleaned and oiled it – and even ridden it on some surprisingly long and eventful journeys. .I have stopped eating all the things I like… eggs, bacon, meat, butter, cheese etc… and now eat the things I loathe… fish, muesli, beans – and more beans.   As a result I have actually lost some weight ant feel a bit fitter.  But mealtime have become distinctly boring – hence the countdown to Christmas.

After two months of abstinence I am looking forward to some tasty pork pie fresh from the farm, slice after slice of succulent ham,  slab after slab of strangely tasteless (but very expensive) free-range turkey – all washed down with chilled Burgundy. 

 And it will come to pass – because the wine is already in the garage, the ham, the turkey, the sausages and even a huge and hugely expensive pork pie are already on order.  I have never, ever pre-booked so much Christmas largesse so soon.  It’s amazing what dieting can do for you.