Weapons of Mass Destruction

My heart sank at the New Year when that lunatic tried to blow up a plane with a bomb in his underpants.  It’s not enough that earnest people take our toothpaste, sun tan lotion and contact lens solutions when we try and board an aeroplane.  Now we can look forward to people rummaging in our underpants – and using those hideous body scanners to reveal your innermost secrets.  And all in the name of security.

Now I know I should be pleased that security is so tight.  But the truth is that it isn’t.  I mean if one deranged kid whose dad has alerted the authorities can stuff a bomb in his trousers – what happens if a determined and capable terrorist gets in on the act?

This is why I rather resent having my sun tan lotion taken away from me.  It is after all just sun tan lotion.  Why can I have some in a bag in the hold if it is so dangerous?  I’m just guessing – but I would imagine it is rather easy to trigger a bomb in the hold – and just as easy to get it there as it is to put one down your trousers.

The other thing that is more than a bit worrying is that there are supposed to be gun toting sky marshals on these planes.  Which makes me wonder if you are taking your life in your hands next time you rummage in your trousers in the toilet?  Are they scanning you there too?

Most worrying of all is that I am a regular customer of budget airlines – and in particular the one that is thinking of doing away with helpful staff, toilets – and even seats.  One day soon I suspect that I will be invited to fly the plane as well.  Somehow I imagine that a company with such a cavalier approach to customer service will perhaps be not exactly red hot on safety.

But then I suppose whilst nutcases are venting their spleen on America and London – it is a probably a very good thing that all three of London’s airports are too far away to be bothered with.